There were times after I found out my now ex was having the affair with my then friend that I felt like I was looking down the wrong end of a pair of binoculars. Everything was really small and it was like having cotton wool in my ears...or walking around with the sound in your life turned WAY down. There was one bad night coming home from work ...waiting outside my campus to cross the street to get to the bus stop that I almost got hit by a car. I just couldn't SEE anything but my own pain...

Once I got semi used to being single, and over the Steve debacle I decided to try a few different things. I'm a sociologist so I am always up for trying new things particularly from a cultural dating level...and hey you never know. SO...I placed a personal ad...I know I know...never thought I'd do it either but hey. Seven hundred and forty nine responses. Insane. I would have been here till 2020 trying to get through them all. Got some very interesting replies...and made a very good fri...

Oh bloody hell....2 years after the fact I STILL wonder how it is I got here at 38. Did anyone else out there suffer from systemic smugness when they were married? I know I did...I didn't know it then but I know it now. I think underneath it all I thought my single girlfriends were suffering from some sort of invisible defect...you couldn't see it but it HAD to be there, otherwise they'd have a man right? WRONG. I didn't factor the men in... some feminist I was heh, even if this was an u...

Maybe I'm the only woman who lies awake at night wondering exactly who moved the goalposts over the last 16 years...not moved precisely...more like threw them away. Or how to survive your now ex's midlife crisis and keep going at 38 with four kids an almost completed PhD and a sense of humor. I'm going to chat about my adventures in dating and sex land without the usual wrangles with the internal censor. Feel free to email me with funny stories of your own....I could use the company.